If you aren't changing it, you're choosing it.


By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;

through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Prov. 24:3-4

If you're a planner, you are going to love this post. For everyone else, this might chafe a bit. That said, I think we can all agree that everything lovely and lasting is built with intention and care and this is never more true than in building a home. God is the one who builds His church but amazingly enough, we get to co-labor with Him in this process!

1 Corinthians 3:9

For we are co-workers in God's service; you are God's field, God's building.

The kingdom comes one home, one disciple at a time and therefore, the way we build our homes and the people who come through them, is weighty and eternal work!

As a homeschooling mom, every summer I spend many hours thinking through curriculum, schedules and daily routines for our upcoming school year. I read books and reviews and spend time praying over my choices because I feel the weight of what this responsibility holds. I am fully aware that we will build something in our home over the next few months and I want to make sure we are building well.

But this practice of evaluating and adjusting our lives is not strictly for homeschooling families - this practice would benefit all families! Here are some questions I urge you to prayerfully consider and discuss with your spouse this summer:

1. How would we define "success" for our children?

2. What are we doing right now to support our children in succeeding in these ways?

3. What rhythms and routines define our family? Which rhythms and routines do we WISH defined our family? How can we bridge the gap between what is and what we hope will be?

4. In what areas are our kids struggling? How can we help our child be more victorious in this area?

5. What are we currently doing that I wish we weren't?

6. What are we NOT doing that I wish we were?

If you aren't changing it, you're choosing it.

Ouch. My friend posted that quote the other day and it has been burning me ever since. It is painful and also powerful to own responsibility for your current construction site (aka - home). Do you wish you had family dinners but in actuality you are all running in different directions each night? You are choosing that. Do you feel a conviction to have regular devotions with your kids but you haven't gotten organized enough or brave enough? Then you are choosing to be a family that does not regularly open God's word together. If you aren't changing it, you're choosing it and if you aren't sure how to change, I suggest prayer and planning.

Prayerfully consider your end game. What are we supposed to be building in these years when our kids are in our home? A lot of times our answers come straight from scripture. For example, one thing we want to focus on this year is being more hospitable. My husband and I have decided that as a goal we would like to have a family over for dinner at least once a month.

Once you have a goal, you need to make a plan. In the case of our above goal, the plan required a huge change and then simple scheduling. The simple part is putting together a list of people we'd like to welcome into our home and then being sure to leave at least one Saturday evening available to host each month. The more complicated part of that plan led us to sell our home and move to a place that could better accommodate larger groups of people. Having those big-picture goals in mind will help determine both big and small decisions for your family life.

As parents we have the awesome and weighty responsibility of establishing what is "normal" for our children. Which rhythms and routines do you want so deeply embedded in your family culture that your kids will carry them into their own families? Consider wisely. Build diligently. Choose and change. And if your goals are aligned with the will of God, He is ready and willing to help you.

Matthew 7:24-27

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Psalm 127:1a

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.

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