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Monogamy is Romantic

Even if you don't factor in the obvious spiritual, societal and health benefits received from monogamy,

at the end of the day, it's just plain romantic.

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the day we said "I do". Both of our parents have passed the 40-year mark within the last couple of years and we are blessed. We come from a long line of people who stay.

Someday I may write an article about ways to strengthen your marriage or be a better spouse or fight fair but today I want to simply reflect on the beauty of faithfulness. Hollywood is forever trumpeting the passion and fire of newfound love but there is a deeper, quieter, stronger connection that fewer people find because it blooms more slowly - lovelier with each passing decade.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

You don't have to have the T.V. on long to be bombarded with the message that it is liberating to have multiple partners, that saving yourself for marriage is uncool and weird and that faithfulness has taken a backseat to instant gratification. It is so easy to swallow these lies when they come at us in the form of cute sitcoms but in reality I don't know a single person who has lived this way and ended up better off. Do you? Religious beliefs aside, deep down our hearts desire to be loved and cherished by one person who will have us and hold us for the rest of our lives. We desire eternal faithfulness because God is eternally faithful and marriage is one of many ways we get a glimpse into God's heart.

But faithfulness is hard. It is hard to love someone more than we love ourselves. It is hard to remember our vows to honor and cherish when we are both dead tired and whisper fighting over who's turn it is to get up with the baby. It is hard to take note of each other's kindnesses and keep no record of wrongs when everything can seem so so wrong. This is life. Some days are good, some days are not. But even on the bad days we eat at the same table and curl up in the same bed. Even on the bad days we are not alone.

My husband and I are not the same people we were when we got married. We have lived a bit of life since then - we have grown up. If God gives us length of days we will one day grow old. And to grow old with the same person with whom you grew up is a gift to be treasured. To hold the same hand for 40 or 50 or 60 years is truly remarkable - magical. And no matter how loudly society tells us that one man and one woman for one lifetime is unrealistic, we know the truth. Our hearts know what they were made for: eternity.

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.

Mark 10:9

God has commanded us to be faithful and true to our spouse and since this is His design, we can be sure that it is for His glory and also for our good. On the days when we "aren't feelin' it" we can fall back on the certainty that obedience to God's commands is always right and good and best. Plus, all epic stories have a few bumpy patches.

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory,

for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!

Psalm 115:1

Today I am thankful that I live with a man who gets all my "inside jokes". I love that after 10 years we can look at each other from across the room and read each other's thoughts. I love that I can start a story in the middle because he already knows all the characters and backstories. He's my best friend. He feels like home. I love that no matter how rough a particular season of life is - nobody is leaving. We serve a faithful God who has given us all we need for life and godliness - all we need to be faithful.

And even if you don't factor in the obvious spiritual, societal and health benefits received from monogamy, at the end of the day...

"Monogamy is romantic; it just happens to be merely practical,

but if ever monogamy is abandoned in practice, it will linger in legend and in literature."


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